The Call – Two

“Thanks for calling the Trans lifeline. This is Nikita. What’s on your mind?” The caller says nothing. I hear them shuffling about, perhaps adjusting their position. “Hello..” The caller speaks, clearing their throat. Their voice sounds strained. “I was hoping for some company.” She adds, sounding hesitant. “Of course!” I tell her, with equal parts enthusiasm and restraint. Being too enthusiastic can be off putting for some callers. “How are you?” This is a question […]

The Call – One

My phone rang. I was on call so I had a good idea what the nature of the call was. “Thanks for calling the Trans lifeline..” I began, my standard but sincere greeting. “How are you?” Silence. Then light crying, mostly stifled on their end. “It’s ok. Take your time” I offer, gently, reassuringly. “I’m here.” I remind them. “I tried telling my mom I was trans today…” They inform me. “She screamed at me […]

Infernal Time

Tick. Tock. That’s my clock. How I loathe that contraption. I have a life-long aversion to it and what it represents. Laying in bed, staring up at my ceiling I see dozens of stars, that familiar yellow glow. I see several crescent moons as well. They’re stickers and I don’t remember who put them there, but I like them. They represent a sky I can’t see for the ceiling and roof above me but beyond […]

Abused

The taxi driver greets me and I sit down, announcing my name so he knows he picked up the correct person. He taps knowingly on his mounted display to see where I’m headed. Vancouver General Hospital. We make a left onto Kingsway and off we go. He looks at me a few times, as if seeing a human for the first time. He leans forward, to see more of my face. “.. you a man […]

Another Day

‘Will that be all?’, the sales associate asks me. ‘‘Yea. Thanks’, I say, inserting my debit card into the machine. She asks me what I’m up to today. Inwardly the panic sets in. I look, for the most part, normal, whatever that is. I wonder immediately if it’s evident on my face, if she noticed the flicker of dismay or sadness when she asked and the moment it took me to compose myself to deliver […]