I suppose many or most of you know I am a trans person. It’s not something I celebrate nor necessarily damn. It isn’t what I try to be or wish to be, it’s simply what I am.

I’ll be honest. I don’t really get along with, see eye to eye with or even enjoy many of the trans people I know. Oddly, and perhaps unintuitively, I don’t get a lot of support – emotionally or otherwise – from trans people. I’m not suggesting there are none out there who do, or could, but it’s interesting to note that the bulk of my support hasn’t been from fellow trans people, but the so-called ‘CIS’ people they so often scorn.

Whether asked for or they volunteer it, the bulk of the support I see from trans people is little more than vacuous platitudes and empty promissory notes of a better tomorrow.

I want none of it.

For this reason, I keep no trans people as friends. I will try to be present for any who need an ear or to have their voice heard, but socially I steer clear of them. I attend no trans support groups – though I have in the past – nor do i wish to anymore.

For my tastes, they’re, generally speaking only of course, too politically charged for me and, though I fully understand why they are as they are, I’m in vehement disagreement with their social or political modus operandi.  As an example, I don’t care if I am misgendered. If someone sees a curved yellow fruit with a stem on one end and a dark area on the other end, they’re completely forgiven for thinking it’s a banana. I have bigger issues to work through than scolding some sales person for calling me a Sir. I do look like it, after all.

This trans journey is mine. Mine to embark on, to travel on, to explore and learn from. I shall not make this journey, with all of its many hurdles, someone else’s burden. This is mine and mine alone.

If you’re a trans person, please don’t take this as a personal indictment of you or of us, but just how I govern myself given my experiences with trans people.

Whether CIS, trans or anywhere betwixt, I wish you love, compassion and kindness.

With love and good intent,


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